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Scotland’s new parliament is revealing itself as a weak institution, incapable of holding the executive to account, and not good at representing the citizen against the state. How does this performance compare with its predecessor, the old Scots parliament?

When the new Scottish parliament first met, on 12 May 1999, Dr Winifred Ewing, the “mother of the house”, opened the proceedings by saying, “The Scottish parliament, adjourned on the 25th day of March, 1707, is hereby reconvened.” 

The Scexit Files: Daily Record, 14^th Sept. 2028

A festival of penny-pinching opened yesterday, as the newly appointed Finance Minister, Kylie Krankie, launched the inaugural Queen's Awards for Belt-tightening on behalf of the post-Scexit government.

“I’m just bursting to tell everyone!” exclaimed Valerie Spark, after scooping the energy award. The young entrepreneur has plans to re-configure running machines in gyms across the country to supply the Scottish National Grid. “It’s a great way to tap into our extensive resources of obesity, after North Sea oil starts running out.”

In politics, the end always justifies the means. People are nothing but tools to advance causes and ideologies. Due to this inevitable fact, political history is littered with "useful idiots", people who champion and support a cause without knowing the full story behind it.

Scottish politics is no exception, and has more useful idiots than many other places. The EU used the SNP during the Brexit negotiations to leverage the British government. When they were no longer needed, the SNP found themselves abandoned by an organisation that now says Scotland cannot join the Erasmus scheme because it is "not a country". The SNP were the EU’s useful idiots.

I have spent most of my life as a soldier. I served six tours of duty in Northern Ireland between 1975 and 1995 before retiring as Regimental Sergeant Major in the Black Watch. I have seen a country tear itself apart before and I fear that we, as all who fail to learn from history, may find ourselves repeating it. I know that nowadays marches and large public gatherings seem like a distant memory, but those days will come back and with it, possibly, may come the start of our repeated history. 

The Scexit Files: Sunday Herald, 15^th July 2026

“I lied in good faith.” 

With those words, Dr Jim Heckle, the Minister for Strategy in the post-Scexit cabinet, abruptly quit the Scottish government yesterday, citing mental health issues. 

“Since Indy, it’s been absolutely pile-driving,” Heckle explained in an exclusive interview with the Sunday Herald. “But the real problem with … y’know … cracking up,” he sobbed, “is that you don’t see it yourself.” 

The SNP’s obsession with being perceived as morally superior is the glue they collectively sniff before composing any public messaging. No matter the issue, rest assured that it cannot possibly be the SNP’s fault. Gone are the days of accountability, gone are the days of owning up to something and the days of transparency are but a faint memory.

Following the resounding ‘once in a generation’ 2014 referendum defeat, what did the SNP do? They schemed: what would be the best way for us to make the numbers up and get Indy over the line? They landed on the quagmire of identity politics —  using people’s identities as political weapons — a foray that now threatens to destroy them. 

The story goes that in 1787, as Russian Empress Catherine the Great travelled in the Crimea, her minister Grigory Potemkin erected fake portable villages along her route as a façade to hide deep-seated poverty in the region.

The Potemkin Villages, as they became known, were the means by which the gilded monarch was persuaded that all was right with the country under her gaze even though the truth was the opposite.  

Like many of us who now find ourselves locked inside for most of the day, I have been watching more movies than usual. A few nights ago, one struck me with its resonance to current Scottish politics. It was about an aircraft that, mid-flight, suffered a catastrophic malfunction to its tail assembly, causing it to roll over and enter a steep dive that inverted all of its controls; actions that would have previously lifted the nose of the aircraft would only push it down further. As the pilots fought the controls, a clear but plaintive mechanical voice repeats, "Pull up. Pull up," as the plane hurtles to the ground, as if the pilots hadn't already realised the situation which they were now powerless to stop.